REFRAMING A JUNKIE'S MINDSET

Since childhood, I have been on a quest for achievement and perfection. In recent years, I have recognized this quest as endless. There is no final destination, no point of arrival where I can say that I have done well enough. I am an achievement junkie. No amount of success satisfies my endless craving.

I’ve known for a while that my desire to achieve stems from a deep-seated need to justify my existence on this planet. The elusive “proof” of my worth demands that I set the bar of success higher and higher.

Today, this brutal truth hit me in the face: I will never be able to prove my worth through achievement. No matter how much I do, or how well I do it, I will never be able to satisfy my desire to be okay in my own eyes.

While reeling from this recognition, a gentle truth from eastern religions came to my mind. The Hindu and Buddhist scriptures teach us to do all our work as an offering to God, no matter how great or how humble that work might be.

Offering my work to God requires me to do my best. But I do not need to reach any particular standard of success. The universal intelligence uses our offerings for the highest good, in ways that are beyond our human comprehension. In the words of my Hindu swami, “The work is yours; the results are God’s.”